Anger....

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 Anger is the flash of fire that sparks in your brain when you feel you have been short-changed. Perhaps a stranger has nipped into the parking space that you had been about to occupy, or a lazy work colleague has landed you with a thankless task. Or maybe you have been confronted with a deep, hurtful betrayal by someone you love.

Anger is one of the most primitive emotions we experience – animals are equipped with the same basic neural circuitry. It operates on a spectrum from mild frustration to absolute fury, and the intensity with which we feel anger and how we act on it is very personal.

However, it is also used by many to mask deeper and potentially more painful issues.

Simply put Anger = Pain

We feel emotional pain……we get angry.

For so long we have been programmed into believing that showing emotion is weakness and so when we feel pain or sadness, the only acceptable way to let this out is through aggression.  Whilst this is a cultural issue and can affect anyone, it is one that is extremely common within men and is part of the toxic masculinity issue that is unfortunately still prevalent throughout our society.  Men and women are prone to the exact same levels of Anger, however, it is the demonstration of aggression that is almost a primitive right of passage within the male psyche.   

Culturally it has almost become more acceptable to get angry over crying.

The issue here is that we can then often be left feeling guilty at what we have done or said during our outbursts.  This can lead to regret and ultimately anger at our own behaviour which only serves to perpetuate the cycle of aggression.

Anger can also be part of our standard responses to trauma and forms an integral part of the grief cycle.  It is a stage that we must go through in order reach our goals but can also be the stage that we get stuck in which can only compound the issues we are having.

Whilst anger is common in us all, the way it affects us and how we feel is a very individualistic experience.  If you feel you are having issues with your anger you can often feel lost and in some cases like you have no control over your emotional outbursts.  This can accelerate the feelings of isolation and depression if not explored and so through effective therapy we can work in a safe and secure environment to ask ourselves key questions:

What are we angry about?

Who are we angry at?

Why are we angry?

Through exploring what has got us to this point we can attain a level of acceptance which is essential for forward growth and together we can find more acceptable coping techniques.