Grief is one of the most powerful human emotional ranges that we will ever experience. It is also the one thing that every single person will have to go through at some point in our life. It can be exceptionally difficult to come to terms with the fact that death is part of life and that it is actually the only part of life that is guaranteed to happen.
Ok, so It is one thing to accept that this is something that we all must face, it is a totally different story when it actually impacts our lives, and we are touched by grief.
If we know it is coming, then why are we so unprepared for it I hear you ask… the truth is we do not want to be prepared.
For some of us it can be a matter of pride and a misguided view that to show emotion at a time of loss would be seen as a form of weakness. Where does this originate? When we speak of bereavement and grieving in our Western Culture people often feel uncomfortable and tend to avoid the subject. Clients often report to me that they find they cannot talk of the dead person to friends or colleagues. It is almost as though they are not allowed to carry on thinking of the deceased person to the point that if they do, other people find it embarrassing. In Western Society there is social pressure for the bereaved to grieve quickly and quietly.
When we explore the cultures across the globe, those that are better equipped to deal with grief are those that talk openly and freely about it throughout the generations. They will talk about what it means to all involved and all emotion is simply accepted as part of the process without any of the stigma.
We can change this… to grieve is no longer synonymous with weakness and it can be seen in many cases that by pushing the grief to one side and not dealing with the powerful emotions as they arise, we can actually make it far worse for ourselves.
Unresolved grief sits in our subconscious minds like a blockage in a drain and can dictate and control our outward emotions without us ever knowing of its presence.
The process of grief can be split out into stages and whilst there are many different models and theories presented by many psychologists, at puzzled counselling I have developed my own unique methodology regarding the known stages of grief.
Together we can explore all of the stages and in doing so identify your own journey because the most important thing to remember is that whilst all stages are the same, the journey taken changes for everyone– the process of grief is an Individualistic experience.
As we explore the stages and the difficulties experienced in moving through them, we can ultimately work towards our final stage which is that of Acceptance. Acceptance of what has happened and how it has changed you.
“The only cure for grief, is to grieve.”
However, if coming to therapy is still a prospect that you feel you are not ready for then there are always people to talk to that can be there to listen in times of nee
115 123
24/7 helpline for anyone who needs to talk.
0808 808 1677
The Cruse Bereavement Care Freephone National Helpline is staffed by trained bereavement volunteers, who offer emotional support to anyone affected by bereavement.
hopeagain.org.uk
Hope Again is Cruse Bereavement Care's website for young people.
0300 123 3393
The Mind Infoline offers thousands of callers confidential help on a range of mental health issues.
0800 26004 400
They help when someone has died suddenly, or too soon in their life, because of a sudden medical reason (including COVID-19), or terminal illness injuries caused by something that happened.
0300 111 5065
www.uk-sobs.org.uk
SOBS exists to meet the needs and break the isolation of those bereaved by the suicide of a close relative or friend, aiming to provide a safe, confidential environment in which bereaved people can share their experiences and feelings, so giving and gaining support from each other.
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