Relationships....

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Abusers can be incredibly charming people, especially if they are trying make you or others see them in a specific way.  True manipulation can even make us start to doubt ourselves as our partner may not always display the abusive traits and can even be loving towards us.

“It’s so confusing and I am sure that it’s a one-off”  

It can be common for both you and your abuser to try and downplay what happened with excuses, apologies or promises to change. Things might settle down for a bit, but it’s often only a matter of time before it happens again. 

If you’re experiencing abuse, things can feel really confusing, especially if it's your first relationship. You might not be sure what to expect next. Abusers often try to influence your sense of what’s real, to make you feel confused or even that you’re going crazy.

This emotional manipulation is also known as ‘gaslighting’ and can cause us to even blame ourselves or make excuses for our partners bad behaviour.

“But they have never hit me so it’s not that bad”

All this is does is enable the abuser whilst simultaneously destroying our own self-esteem to the point where some will even begin to feel that they deserve this.

No one deserves to be made to feel this way and abuse in any form is never your fault.

This core believe is fundamental to re-establishing who we are and finding our true worth which can be lost over time and is one of the pillars of our work here at puzzled counselling.  Effective therapy can provide you with a safe and secure environment in which you can allow yourself to explore both what is happening to you and how that has made you feel.

Together we can walk the road to recovery without you ever feeling alone.